Ups and Downs

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” (James 1:2-3)

Am I struggling?

Kind of. But then again I’m so blessed. What’s confusing is how I can feel sad and frustrated when I know I’ve got so little reason. I’m sure I’m not the only one who ever feels that.

What I mean is I’m conscious of so many ways in which I have it very easy. But daily there are things that make me frustrated, sad, confused and tired too. Just like anyone else I guess.

• I live in a peaceful place. Thank you, Father. So many people can’t say that. Yet every day I do feel the pang of being a long way from home.

• I live and work with kind and loving people. Thank you, Father. So many people can’t say that. Yet even with Christian unity there is always a vast cultural difference that makes relationships slow and at times confusing.

• I have plenty of important work to do, which I greatly enjoy. Thank you, Father. So many people can’t say that. Yet sometimes it feels like a pathetic drop in the ocean, and it’s far too early to know if any lasting fruit will come from it.

• I have a team of family and friends praying from afar. Thank you, Father. So many people can’t say that. Yet “afar” really is far away and I grieve the unavoidable loss of friendship. It’s simply impossible to keep up friendships at the same level I enjoyed back home.

• My singleness is a gift enabling great freedom and flexibility in life and ministry. Thank you, Father. So many people can’t say that. Yet I’m frequently forced to rethink that when everyone here is shocked to find out I don’t have a wife or children (part of being a respectable adult here). It kind of feels too complicated and difficult to think about so I slightly bury my head in the sand.

• I have good health and a functioning body. Thank you, Father. So many people can’t say that. Yet it’s a frequent struggle to trust God with the likelihood of getting malaria or whatever else, and with rather different healthcare from in the UK. 

So, really I’m fine. I’m more than fine - I’m extremely blessed with so much to be thankful for. But somehow things can feel tough too. It’s hard to explain.

I guess the vital thing then is knowing where to find joy when it’s not in my circumstances or emotions. Arguably the grandest theme of the whole of Scripture is God’s FAITHFULNESS. I’ve loved being reminded of that as I’ve taught a Bible Overview course. All throughout the Bible we human beings do not come off at all well, even those who know God closely and experience his great kindness and love. Even the highest points (like the Exodus from Egypt or Solomon’s glorious kingdom) are tainted by sin and sadness. Yet through it all God is faithful and unchanging.

Nothing will keep God from fulfilling his promises - he will hold on to, take care of, steadfastly love, and finally bring home his beloved children.

So things may be up and down. But even if things were to get much worse, what comfort God’s children can take from his word. Notice the security of the keeping and shielding in these words...

“In his great mercy God has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade - kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:3-7)

So I might wish I were more resilient. But - praise God! - I don’t have to rely on my shaky resilience. I can rely wholly on the rock of God’s keeping power and my rock-solid hope in Jesus Christ: kept in heaven for us by God.

Do you ever feel similar ups and downs? Or do you have a friend or church mission partner far away who might feel similarly? I reckon I’m on pretty safe ground in offering these words as the remedy: God is faithful. What a Rock of security the Christian believer has. Your inheritance will be kept secure, and you will be kept secure too, as we wait.