Winning & Losing Blog Posts!

This blog tells me how many reads each of the posts gets. Looking at the stats inevitably invites introspective insecurity... "Why didn’t they like that one??" / "Whom did I offend?" / "Was it boring?"

Of course, it’s a funny old unpredictable thing - who will read a blog post. I guess it depends so much on when I happen to link to it on social media / how busy people are that day / countless other factors. Plus, I don’t actually know quite how the Blogger "read count" works - does it register if someone reads the first two lines and then things, "Meh, this isn’t worth my time?" And then there’s the fact that people might not click on a link because the title or the picture is a bit lame, but actually they’d enjoy it if they did - who knows?!

Anyway, at the end of the day, I’m honestly not that fussed. I find the process of thinking and writing helpful for myself, and if a handful of people sometimes find what I write interesting or thought-provoking or encouraging then I’m very glad!

But because it does seem to be a bit of lottery who might see what when, I thought I’d announce the winners and losers as it currently stands! Idea being - maybe you just missed one or two that might take your fancy (or maybe you purposefully avoided some - and that’s fine!). Here they are:

Top 5:

1. Do Not Lose Heart (16 April 2016) - emerging from a discouraging experience.
2. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Questions to Ask a Returning Missionary (31 July 16) - written during home assignment in the UK.
3. I Will Love and I Will Miss (11 June 2016) - preparing to travel home for a bit.
4. Why You Must Unsubscribe From Emails (20 January 2016) - a slight change of tack caused by a book on productivity and experiencing different cultural approaches to technology.
5. When I Am Weak: Humidity and Humility (10 October 2016) - from the crucible of an extremely trying hot season!

Bottom 5: (aww...)

1. My Plan To Read (19 December 2016) - most recent, about a reading plan I’ve enjoyed.
2. Lord of All (30 September 2015) - my second ever blog post! Speaking truth to myself as I prepared to leave for the Gambia.
3. Ebenezer Who?! (16 October 2015) - giving thanks for God’s faithfulness upon landing on African soil.
4. Best Book on the Gambia? (8 December 2016) - also v.recent, some books that have helped me for life and ministry here.
5. Setting Sail (2 October 2015) - preparing to leave English seas on my cargo ship to Africa!

So - take or leave, to your heart’s content!

My Plan to Read

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So many books, so little time. This dawned on me a few years back (hardly revolutionary) - I’ll only read a TINY proportion of the books out there that I could read. 

Furthermore, I simply won’t read as much as I’d like to, and could really benefit from, unless I plan to. I began thinking of various books I was keen to read, of a few different types, and began to keep a list, planning one or two books ahead.

This year (2016) I went up a gear. I set myself a full reading list for the first time. Inspired by blogger Tim Challies’ mammoth ambition to read 104 books this year in his 2016 Reading Challenge (crazy...) I decided to aim for 26. Why 26? It averages at one per fortnight, which I thought, if I put my mind to a few disciplines, I could probably achieve.

Challies offers four levels of challenge, depending on what you fancy: (1) The Light Reader (13 books); (2) The Avid Reader (26 books); (3) The Committed Reader (52 books); (4) The Obsessed Reader (104 books).

The top tips I took from Challies’ blog were:

• Write a list of books to read - a target to aim at makes a big difference.
• Tick them off as you go - obviously pleasing! 
• Vary the types of books you read - Challies suggests choosing books to read from various interesting categories like, “A book by an author you’ve never read" / “A book with a fruit of the Spirit in the title” / “A book you’ve started but haven’t finished”. I like that thoughtfulness, but decided to opt for a slightly simpler approach. (Partly also because I had quite a few books on my shelf that I just wanted to read!) So I picked 5 broad categories, and aimed to read a few in each. (By the way, I should confess that I’ve never really got into reading fiction. I’d like to one day!) So my categories have been biography, theology, holiness / life, (Bible) exposition, and Africa. 

I’ve really enjoyed it. Knowing what I’m aiming at (one book per fortnight, on average) hugely helps me to sit down and read. I appreciate that I have the advantage of a quite flexible routine, and largely managing my own time. That certainly helps. But I suspect many people could read more, as they’d often like to, if they put a few habits in place. Some small things I’ve sought to do to help are:

• Aiming to “fast” from my phone from 9pm - 9am. That way, I’m much more likely to read a bit before bed, and to get going well with time with the Lord in the morning (the Bible being far more valuable than any other books). Plus, I think it helps you to sleep.
• Deciding that I’d be content to have several books on the go at once. I reckon it makes good sense. It means that last thing at night, I can read a couple of pages of that lighter, biographical / more devotional book. When I’ve scheduled in time for reading during the day I can make progress on a heavier book that requires harder work. When I’m enjoying a day off at the beach, I’ll take another one. 
• Proposing to read some books with other people. This just keeps the experience of reading varied and more interesting. So I’ve recently been meeting with two guys here weekly to read one book together. And I’m currently reading another book over the phone with a friend back home.

So - I recommend having a plan! As we near the end of December, why not decide on a challenge to set yourself for 2017? If you begin thinking about it now, and begin writing a list, you might be quite excited about it when 1 January rolls around. You could aim to begin writing a list in those funny few days between Christmas and New Year...

Life is short, and there are millions of books we could read - many very good, many not so good. We simply won’t read that many of them! So which ones will you read? It’s worth choosing well isn’t it?

My reading list

For what it’s worth - if you’re interested - here’s what I drew up for 2016. I’ve sat fairly loose to the order in which I read them, though I try to keep a variety on the go at once.

Biographies
✓ John Newton on the Christian Life, Tony Reinke
✓ John Paton, John Paton
✓ Silhouettes and Skeletons - Charles Simeon, ed. John Benton
✓ Messengers of Ethiopia, Dick McLellan
✓ Bound for Burma: Adoniram Judson, J & G Benge (audiobook)

Exposition
✓ Jesus and his Friends, Don Carson
✓ Look to the Rock, Alec Motyer
☐ Acts: The Church Afire, by R. Kent Hughes [reading now]

Holiness / Life
✓ Going the Distance, Peter Brain
✓ The Gospel for Real Life, Jerry Bridges
✓ Zeal without Burnout, Christopher Ash
✓ Living in the Light (Money, Sex and Power), John Piper
✓ Do More Better, Tim Challies
✓ Not By Sight, Jon Bloom
☐ Prone to Wander, Barbara Duguid [reading now]

Theology
✓ Salvation to the Ends of the Earth, Andreas Köstenberger / Peter O'Brien
✓ Works: Volume 2, Jonathan Edwards
✓ The Book of the Covenant, Bernard Howard
✓ Christ our Life, Michael Reeves
✓ Prophetic from the Centre, Don Carson
✓ What’s the Mission of the Church?, Kevin De Young / Gary Gilbert
☐ Jesus the Son of God, Don Carson [reading now]
☐ His Love Endures Forever, Garry Williams [reading now]

Africa
✓ The Unseen Face of Islam, Bill Musk
✓ Dead Aid, Dambisa Moyo
✓ Contextualization in the New Testament, Dean Fleming


I’m almost going to make it… I’m going to predict now that 2 will end up not quite complete by the end of the year. No bother.

As the year has gone by, I’ve also kept a list of what I hope to read next year… So I’m excited about that too!

What could you aim for in 2017? Happy reading!

Best book on the Gambia?

I love having visitors. And I’m excited that a lovely British medical student I know, from previous ministry in the UK, is coming here to the Gambia for his 6-week medical elective. He’ll work at the nearby MRC (Medical Research Centre), which specialises in research into and treatment of malaria. (Fact: It's the second biggest employer in the country after G4S.)

This student thoughtfully asked me recently what my top book to read on the Gambia would be. Good question! I couldn’t answer it - instead I thought of four. If you're interested to know what I suggested, read on.

Although I do like reading (quite a lot), I’m certainly not an expert on the Gambia, or literature relating to the Gambia. But, every few books, I do try to read a book that will be fairly directly useful or applicable to me for life and ministry here.

(I might explain in another post how I schedule my reading…)

So back to the student’s question: “What would be your top book to read on the Gambia?"

I gave him 4 suggestions (and I’ve just thought of a 5th!) -

1. African Friends and Money Matters, David Maranz (SIL International, 2nd ed. 2015)

The (Christian) author worked in neighbouring Senegal so is very familiar with the culture(s) of this part of West Africa. The book is a fascinating series of observations about "micro-economics", i.e. how people use money in everyday life, and particularly how that relates to the way Africans relate to each other. It's very perceptive, gives a really good insight into the way Africans think, and has often proved to be accurate in my experience here. It’s perhaps surprising how significantly people's attitude towards money (or, more importantly here, a culture’s attitude towards money) effects the way people relate to one another.

2. We Have Toiled All Night, Martha Frederiks (Boekencentrum, 2003)

This is an unusual and brilliant resource. The Dutch author spent a while here in the Gambia as a missionary through the Methodist Church. She took it upon herself (I think it was a PhD project) to research and write up a history of Christianity in the Gambia - that's what the book is. It's very comprehensive and very enlightening. There’s so much in there but one lasting memory is the extremely humbling recollection of early missionaries to the Gambia, whose life expectancy here was about 2 years (primarily because of danger and the tropical diseases with no vaccinations or healthcare). It wasn’t for nothing that West Africa became known as “White man’s grave”; they really did come with their belongings packed in coffins. What really blew me away? They kept coming. They knew the deal - and they kept coming. They kept dying. Others kept coming. The only downside about the book is that it's very hard to get hold of, as only a few copies were printed! I was fortunate to find one online through an obscure second-hand seller. 

3. Dead Aid, Dambisa Moyo (Penguin, 2010)

A short and fascinating / heartbreaking wake-up call. With her African (she’s Zambian) and economic (she works for the World Bank) experience, Moyo unleashes a demolishing critique of the economics of the vast aid project to Africa of the last 60 years. She convincingly shows why it's not only not helped, but actually made things far worse. It’s full of devastating statistics. But it’s not just a cry of pity. She suggests an economically robust set of better alternatives. (It made me wish I’d studied economics at school…) 

4. The State of Africa, Martin Meredith (Simon & Schuster, 2013)

A longer classic by an experienced writer and journalist. It makes for often tragic reading about the often sorry story of independence in African nations in the last 60 years. It’s important but often depressing reading (I only made it half way through!), yet he avoids simplistic criticisms. I should really get back to it some day.

5. Touching the Soul of Islam, Bill Musk (Monarch, 2005)

Dr. Musk is a very thoughtful and engaging writer with significant experience of Christian work in a North African context. This is an excellent introduction to the thought-world of Islam. Also highly recommended is his The Unseen Face of Islam, which explores the world of ‘Folk Islam’, i.e. every-day, real-life practices of Muslims, sometimes interestingly different from, yet coexistent with, official Islamic teaching.


So, thank God for good books - for writers, publishers, distributors, and people who taught us how to read.  Whilst #2 above may be particularly specific to here, I’d certainly recommend reading any of the others, for valuable insight into the worlds of Africa and Islam, which effect our world so significantly.

A deep work in a few

© Louise Perkins

I’d love to introduce you to two guys.

It’s a huge privilege and joy to share life with the students and staff at SOW (Servants of the Word) Bible School here in the Gambia. This year it looks like I’ll focus my energies on just two students in Year 2. Sadly, the class has whittled down from 11 a year ago (not the norm, I hasten to add). 

• Some had valiantly had a go but concluded (sensibly) that they need to improve their basic literacy before being able to benefit significantly from such a course; 
• One we’ve sent off to Nigeria to a full-time Bible school there for a year; 
• A couple are in teacher training and have (frustratingly) been placed at the other end of the country;
• Some are simply too stretched financially not to spend the hours they would spend in class earning.

So, it’s sad for those men and women who have had to drop out. And we by no means intend to cut ties with them; we will keep seeking to encourage them. But we trust that God is in control. He is the Lord of the harvest who deploys his people where, when and how he ordains. And so we recognise this unusually small class as an opportunity from the Lord for us to invest deeply and thoughtfully in these 2 who remain. It’s a great privilege to be a teacher with a 1:2 ratio, it’s lots of fun to really get to know these guys well, and it’s a joy to see their relationship grow as they study and learn together, and spur one another on. It’s often been said that a key to truly fruitful ministry is “a deep work in a few for the sake of the many”. I believe that.

Will you pray with me for these two young men? First, I thought you might appreciate me introducing you…


Alieu (names changed) is tall, well-built and cheeky. He came to the Gambia from Sierra Leone and got sucked into the bumster way of life here. Bumsters are notorious hustlers who get by through (usually) petty crime, often fleecing tourists and whoever else they can. Alieu's life was typical of that community - unrestrained stealing, drugs, alcohol and sex. He’d tell you that - despite his bravado - it was miserable. He became very sick, and when no doctors could help, one doctor said his only hope was to try a marabout (traditional healer / witch-doctor). As is very common, Alieu ended up selling all he had to pay for the ‘assistance’ of various marabouts, but all the sacrifices and charms achieved nothing.

One bumster friend of Alieu’s came from a Christian family and, whilst he didn't care about Christianity himself, he sensed that “their God has power”. Alieu thought it was worth a shot. So he resolved to go to a church service. His girlfriend kept trying to dissuade him, employing various tactics to distract him or discourage him from going. Sometimes he’d be on his way to the church, but he’d bump into some mates en route and choose the easy option of sitting down with them and joining in their boozing.

Eventually he made it. Having grown up in a Muslim environment, the initial experience of church was shocking. In his mind, religious meetings meant taking off your shoes, approaching with an attitude of quietness and respect, men and women being separated… By contrast, at the church, everyone was singing, dancing and drumming! It was like a party! But instead of being offended (as many would be), Alieu loved parties and so loved this!

Alieu felt a totally unfamiliar peace and joy when in the presence of these Christians, which was deeply attractive. In time, God restored Alieu to health, and he found himself continuing and desiring to go to church with an increasing hunger to know more about Jesus from the Bible. He got baptised when he received Jesus as his Saviour and only hope for life and eternity, and his life began to be transformed by the love, grace and peace of God through Jesus.

Two years ago, someone from Alieu’s church took him along to a workshop about Bible storytelling - an important and effective technique particularly aimed at people with low literacy (though Alieu is actually well educated and very bright). Whilst there, Alieu heard about SOW and decided to enrol. He’s now in Year 2, he got an excellent score in last year's external Moore College Introduction to the Bible exam, and recently did a practice exposition on a part of Philippians in class, which was one of the clearest sermons I’ve heard in the Gambia! 

 

**

Tijan is from remote rural Guinea - "the forest” region - extremely different from coastal Gambia with its tourist industry and mixture of African & foreign nationalities. He’s short, earnest, but with a high laugh and a big smile, and speaks with an extremely strong Guinean-French accent (Guinea being francophone). Whilst studying at university in Labé, Guinea, Tijan met a pastor who sensed that Tijan had both the willingness and embryonic gifts for Christian ministry of some kind. This pastor was from the same tribe as Tijan, and had connections with some Christians in the Gambia…

Two years ago, this pastor duly sent Tijan here to be taken in by a community of believers from his tribe (which spans national borders), many of whom have suffered greatly for their faith. It’s one of the least reached people groups in the world (0.05% Christian) The purpose of his coming? To be trained at SOW - somewhere where he would read and study the Bible, and be taught how to interpret it accurately and how to teach it clearly.

Tijan struggled through his first year, unable to find a decent job, but this term we rejoiced when he landed a job as a school-teacher, teaching French. It requires phenomenal hard work and is met with a meagre salary. After full days of teaching, he comes to SOW for Monday and Tuesday evening classes, and then again on Saturdays. Such times would be key opportunities to offer private tuition (where teachers’ money is really made here). Instead, Tijan decides to come faithfully to SOW.

He works incredibly hard, and is making slow but good progress with his English. Beautifully, his classmate Alieu is very patient with Tijan’s much slower rate of English reading and comprehension. There are often lovely moments in class where Alieu takes it upon himself to correct or clarify something for his brother. One battle we’re fighting together is to break Tijan’s habit of dropping the consonants at the end of words, which is common in French. So, for example, “On dit un mot” (“one says a word”) is pronounced in French, “O[n] di[t] u[n] mo[t]”. This leads Tijan to do the same in English - he’ll passionately declare, “The WOR of GO!” (= “The WORD of GOD!”) I’ve just about got used to it! But communicating clearly in English is a massively useful skill, not only here; so as much as I enjoy dusting off my school-level French, we’ve agreed that we’ll only speak English in the classroom. (Unless I can remember a French word or two to translate when necessary.)

Most impressively, Tijan has a phenomenal zeal to use his God-given gifts to serve Jesus by making him known through the sharing of his word, the Bible. He longs to do that back in rural Guinea, after this season of training and discipleship here.

** 

So that’s my class! I’m loving being with these guys for 8 hours a week in class, and other times too. Will you pray with me for them? Above all, I’m praying that this opportunity for a deep work in them would lead to them being trained appropriately and effectively, so that they can then appropriately and effectively reach many others in all the years that God will give them.

© freeimages.com

Doing the two-times multiplication table is surprisingly exciting. And actually quite staggering. Get this… If I, by God’s grace, can make a lasting impression on these two, through the regular opening up of God’s word this year, and then they could each do the same in two more, each year, for (say) 21 years… Guess how many people would have been discipled after those 21 years? More than 2 MILLION!!! 2,097,152. (Do the sums yourself if you don’t believe me!) That’s more than the current population of the Gambia!

It gets crazy when you add on just a few more years… 25 years? 33,554,432. 30 years? 1,073,741,824.

Could the reason we often don’t see that kind of growth be the shallowness of our work in people?

So please pray for a DEEP work in these precious FEW (two!) for the sake of the MANY! And that in the future, God would do a deep work in many others through them, and on and on and on… For God’s glory!

10 Ways to Actually Pray for Missionaries

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I gather that more books have been written on prayer than on any other topic in the Christian life. We Christians all know that it’s an extraordinary privilege we have - to call the God of the universe our Father, and approach his throne of grace confidently!! But I think we all struggle to pray as well. Why is that?

And off goes another book about prayer… Which I’m not going to write! I suppose there will be theological reasons why we don’t pray, emotional reasons, circumstantial reasons… I wonder if a surprisingly powerful factor might be quite practical reasons though. As Don Carson put it - we simply need to “plan to pray”.

One of the most significant books I’ve read on prayer is Carson’s masterpiece, A Call to Spiritual Reformation (IVP, 1992), which surveys some of the Apostle Paul’s prayers and what we can learn from them for our prayer lives. It totally transformed my approach to prayer when I read it 10 years ago, and I’m sure it would do the same again if I gave it a fresh read! Funnily enough though, along with all the epic theological elements in the book that had such a big impact on me, something that has stuck with me, as if I read it yesterday, is a most basic piece of practical advice, from the start of the book - “plan to pray”! It’s a simple but penetrating point. Carson elaborates:

“What we actually do reflects our highest priorities. That means we can proclaim our commitment to prayer until the cows come home, but unless we actually pray, our actions disown our words.” (p.19)

So. Dare I ask - what’s your plan? How will you pray for missionaries?

That obviously takes for granted that you want to pray for missionaries. I believe we should! I won’t try to persuade anyone now. Suffice it to say, the more we love and follow Jesus, whose parting words to his people on earth were, “Go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19), the more we’ll want to be part of that. Many are not called to go anywhere further than across the street, though such endeavours still ought to be backed prayerfully by others. Some are called to go further from home, and they certainly need the prayerful backing of others.

So, what’s your plan?

I’ve been really encouraged, since coming to the Gambia, when friends have told me how they pray for me. One friend wrote to me recently and, after assuring me that he is keeping me in his prayers, he added, “On Thursdays and Sundays FYI”. He’s got a plan! And I’m so grateful.

My goddaughter’s parents have a lovely book they’ve made for her with photographs of people to pray for, including me here. They’ve got a plan! And I’m so grateful.

Writing prayer letters is a funny old experience (as is writing a blog, really). Typing, typing, typing, sharing, sharing, sharing. “Is it worth it?? Will people actually pray?? Will people even read?? I trust that some do. I don’t want to write too much and bore people… Or do people actually want to hear more? Let me be succinct. But I need to explain and give a picture of things…” It’s not easy!

But the writing is (part of) my side of the bargain. The other side is people praying. And I know that’s not easy either! Hence this blog post. Because (here we are finally…) I thought it might be helpful to offer a few practical suggestions on how to actually pray for missionaries. Here you go - take or leave! Ten tips in no particular order:

1. Decide to spend a few minutes praying through any prayer email / letter immediately when you read it. 
2. Save up prayer emails / letters into a folder and schedule a fiercely guarded time into your diary each week to pray through them. N.B. Depending on the volume, storing them up like this can make for quite a tiring prayer session. If more than 5(?), I’d go for two separate slots. 
3. Stick up a world map on a wall, and add pins to mark where people are for whom you’ll pray. 
4. Then pick an activity that creates a pause in your day to pray for a different pin each time - e.g. as the water is boiling / coffee is brewing. 
5. Pray for people you know in different continents each day of the week. (Could be done with #3.) 
6. Use triggers. For example, whenever you see someone walking a dog, say a quick prayer for a missionary you know who has a dog (hint hint). Or I heard of someone who prayed for some missionaries every time she saw the same model of car that they had. 
7. Pick a memorable place that you pass regularly (a tube stop on your way to work / a park on your way to the shop) and decide to pray for a missionary every time you pass it. 
8. Accept that you can’t pray for everything and pick one thing to focus on from a particular prayer email / letter. Write it in a prayer diary (start one!). 
9. Use the PrayerMate app and customise it to however it best suits you. I recommend it highly. It requires a bit of effort to get used to, but many people find it pays off. 
10. Commit to meet regularly with some others who also know said missionary to pray for them - once a month / once a term / whenever. You could write them a note when you do so too - they’d love that! 

I currently benefit from doing three of the above. Why not pick two or three that help you?

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” (Colossians 4:2)

Let’s plan to do so, and make it happen. Remember Carson’s words? “What we actually do reflects our highest priorities.” May God help you and me to plan and to pray.

When I Am Weak: Humidity and Humility

On the cool tiles - he’s got the right idea. I do the same sometimes!

It’s 4 showers a day kind of stuff.

I never owned a record player, and my dad’s was rarely used. But whether or not you’re old / hipster enough to have familiarity with one, you probably know the expression, “sounding like a broken record”. And I fear that that is me talking about the heat! Every time someone asks me how I’ve been getting on / how my day’s been / what it’s been like being back in the Gambia, it’s impossible not to talk about the most unrelenting pressure that I feel pretty constantly pretty much every day… The HEAT! The horrendously humid heat…

I really do hate the thought that I might come across as whiney or complaining. That would be inexcusable. God has been so, so good and generous to me in countless ways. Nevertheless, this is certainly a trial!

Please know that I don’t want to make you pity me. I fight against the pride of self-pity and don’t need you to make it harder! Rather, I want to take this opportunity to boast in my weakness.

Boasting in weakness

I get my cue from another. Far from the triumphalism and bravado of many so-called ‘apostles’ in the African church today, the Apostle Paul endured a huge amount of suffering, just like the Lord Jesus whom he served. It could have made him a laughing-stock compared to the worldly impressive ‘super-apostles’ out there preaching a different message. But Paul was glad to brag about not his strength or success but his weakness.

“[After listing many difficulties and hardships…] Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn? If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.” (2 Corinthians 11:29-30)

He mocked his snooty opponents by boasting as they did, but about his sufferings and weakness! Because it revealed the genuineness of his ministry and, more than that, it pointed to the sufficient grace of Christ -

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it [a particularly painful trial] away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (12:8-10)

What extraordinary words.

Now - I’m really not suffering like Paul! Or like so many of Jesus’ people around the world today. I’m not suffering (many) insults (at least not to my face!) and I’m not being persecuted. So what am I going on about? Well, I certainly am experiencing “weaknesses” and “difficulties”! And I do believe that, like Paul did, I can testify to God’s sufficient grace and all-surpassing power in this mini trial, in a way that I hope will magnify Christ Jesus - make him look bigger and me smaller.

Earlier in this letter of Paul, he described us in our weakness as “jars of clay”, the then equivalent to plastic or paper bags - they serve a purpose but are weak and easily broken. Why has God made us like that? “…we have this treasure [the ministry of the gospel] in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” (4:7)

If I weren’t struggling like I am, aware of how weak I am, then I might be tempted to think I’ve got a measure of impressive ability about myself. I really don’t! I’m just a plastic bag. So I too can “delight in my weaknesses”, as I battle with the heat, because it shows that the power that creates anything of any value through my pathetic efforts is clearly from God and not from me! It’s humbling - in a very, very good way.

What’s the big deal?

“Can it really be that bad?”, I hear my cynical British reader thinking… Do I need to just “man up”? I don’t believe so.

We all have different capacities, physically and emotionally. And I’m being honest when I say that this heat drastically reduces my physical energy and emotional strength. I don’t think I’m alone in that.

Maybe you’ve enjoyed sunny holidays to the Med or somewhere, and you’ve loved the temperature being in the 30ºs each day. I have too. There are at least 3 significant differences between that and my current experience:

1. Humidity - in the dry season here it can get up in to the 40ºs. You know it’s hot when that happens. But somehow you’re still able to function. Now, however, the humidity (usually > 80% / 90%) somehow makes the heat stick to you in a horribly unforgiving way. And it just saps out your energy. 
2. Duration - one tends to enjoy such a holiday for a week or so, not months and years. 
3. Activity - on such a holiday, I’m happy to achieve little more than maybe surf, read a few book chapters and go on a couple of strolls (call me middle-aged…). Here, I’m actually trying to live and work, plus with the added pressures of doing so cross-culturally. 

Furthermore, there is just something about the African sun. On paper/screen, 35º (usual daily temp at the moment) might not sound too bad. But the sun is intense here. Much more so than in the UK. Combine that with the humidity and it’s tough. (At night it’s usually equally humid and no lower than 25º - i.e. a hot summer’s day in England!)

(As I type it’s 10.30pm [now cool enough to write!], 27º, RealFeelTM 34º, humidity 88%.)

I’m encouraged that I’m not being totally pathetic by people here struggling too. Maybe this is an area where Gambians and Brits aren’t so dissimilar - whatever the weather, we’ll complain! Here, in “winter”, when it gets down to low 20ºs, it’s talked about as unbearably cold! Someone said to me recently here that the weather in the Gambia is extreme - extreme heat and extreme cold. I had to correct him on one of those!!

People do talk about October as being the worst. Mama dreads it all year. (“Oh October...”) People console me with regretful expression on their faces, “It’s October now…” 

Is it worth it?

I know of two missionary couples who decided they couldn’t stay in the Gambia because of the heat. One couple went to Kenya instead. One couple returned to the UK. I’m thankful that God seems to have made me in such a way that I’m not quite thinking like that. But I am struggling! My productivity would appear to be dramatically lower than in the UK. When the heat is like this, I keep my expectations low. I aim for just one thing per day - a meeting with an individual; a couple of hours of preparation on something; a trip out combining a few errands. That’s a lot less than I would hope for per day in the UK! It’s humbling!

But is it really worth it? All the cross-cultural preparation and ongoing learning, all the finances generously given by people, all the emotional energy, all the relational sacrifices…

Example - the other day, I was due to meet a brother to read the Bible together. It’s a great privilege to have a relationship with him where I can do that. He’s in a tough situation, he teaches me a huge amount about his cultural and religious background and I’m able to teach him a bit about Jesus. I had also hoped to do lots of other things like write a few letters, run a few errands, make some phone calls to people back home, and look over teaching material for a class tomorrow. I had to cancel all those plans. After spending time with this friend and sharing lunch together, the sun was at its hottest and I just had no energy left. I struggled through half a book chapter and then gave up. The rest of the day was a write-off! Humbling!

Is it worth it??

I think so. I believe that productivity ultimately is not about quantifiable results but about stewarding God’s gifts for the good of others for God’s glory. And I haven’t come here on a whim. It was years of praying, discussing, planning, all with many and varied counsellors. And so even if my measurable outcomes seem relatively small, I do believe that, all by God’s grace, they’re making a small contribution to an important and urgent need. I really need people to encourage me with that though - as a dear friend recently did - otherwise, at times, I’ll be tempted to pack my bags!

The purpose of weakness

So it all makes me very aware of how weak I am. One thing a day?! Pretty weak. But oh the joy of knowing that my weakness is not only permitted by God, but that it even glorifies him! My weakness displays Jesus’ sufficient grace and surpassing power all the more. So, as long as that happens, I delight in my weakness in this heat.

And, paradoxically, thinking like this enables me truly to be strong! “When I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Cor.12:10) True strength is thus not about physical endurance or emotional resilience, but about looking away from myself in my weakness, and looking instead to Jesus - the source of sufficient grace and surpassing power.

In honesty, do you feel weak? May you too know the strengthening blessing of accepting your weakness, and committing it to being for God’s glory. May your weakness, like mine, display Jesus’ sufficient grace and surpassing power.

Marine Memories

It was a very strange experience - this time a year ago… I was awaiting the final confirmation of which day my cargo ship would be ready for me to embark at Tilbury Port on the River Thames, to take me to Dakar in West Africa. From there I would travel on by road to the Gambia (no such ships were able to take passengers straight to my final destination).

The world of shipping scheduling is clearly considerably less predictable than, say, rail or air travel! My Italian shipping line, Grimaldi, who would take me on their vast vessel, Grande Nigeria, had told me that my “estimated date of departure” was truly only an estimate - I should be prepared for it to change. Indeed, it kept changing! Shifting back a few days, then a few days more…

It was a surreal and unsettling experience. Almost all my things had been put on another ship (to go straight to the Gambia). My one big remaining bag sat with me at my parents’ house, as we awaited the day to say farewell. Thumbs-a-twiddling…

Boxes, guitar and surfboards entrusted to another ship...

As I look back now on that strange experience, a year on, I am still very glad that I chose to travel that way. “But why??” - you may well ask… If you’ve stumbled upon this blog more recently and don’t know my reasons, please feel free to go back to these posts I wrote around the time:

• Setting Sail - written just as I boarded the boat
• Voyage Stage 1 - written a few days in
• Unusual Journeys 1: The Boat - written afterwards to give more information and reflection 
• (Unusual Journeys 2: The Bus - not about the boat... but about the next leg which was also a bit of an adventure - for me at least!)

The reason I’m posting this is actually because I was recently very entertained by noticing that the Tucks, some of my fellow passengers from the boat, wrote a brilliant piece about the journey here - they capture really well how amusing and bizarre some of the experiences on board were! They have an amazing website about all their travels all around the world. Extraordinary.

Containers on board the ship

It made me laugh out loud, remembering and reminiscing! If you’re interested, you can continue reading their blog post and follow the boat journey as it continued from here in West Africa, where I got off, across the Atlantic to where they were heading in South America, on big and exciting travel adventures. I’d love you to read it - it gives an excellent insight into the unusual experience and how hilarious it was at times! (The equator-crossing ceremony is very odd!)

It was good recently to be able to hop on a plane and return to the UK in a number of hours for some ‘home assignment’ and holiday. It’s an amazing blessing to be able to do that so easily. But I am so glad that I took that boat when I did, enabling me to transition more gradually, with a bit more time to reflect, prepare and pray. So maybe, if God ever leads me to return to the UK for longer, I’d contact Grimaldi again - hoping to be reunited with Salvi and Captain Super Mario…

"I Hear the Mighty Thunder"!

© Freeimages.com

It begins with the rising wind… The leafy mango trees that surround the compound rustle increasingly. Occasionally, a distant rumble of thunder. The wind ebbs and flows, teasing about when the next stage will start. The odd burst of lightning illuminates the clouds - its distance hard to judge…

Then, after a few minutes, the wind goes up a gear, and branches begin crashing loudly into each other and into corrugated iron roofs; various oddments are tossed around the garden by the swirling wind. Rattle, bang, creak, bang…

All of a sudden it’s like a dam bursts over our heads and the rain begins lashing down. The sound against the roof is deafening. Waterfalls form immediately over every roof edge, carving trenches into the now muddy sand below. Within seconds, the sandy garden has turned into a mud bath - a series of pools and rivers. The chickens are glad they can perch on some shelves, and the dog is thankful for the veranda!

The lightning is now flashing frequently, lighting up the whole sky for extraordinary stunning split-seconds. Then, without any warning, the loudest thunder imaginable erupts with a mighty crack and explosion! I don’t think I imagined a sound could possibly be so loud. It was genuinely terrifying and made me leap out of my seat in shock! In a dramatic combination, the thunder cracked, the lightning flashed and the power went off instantaneously, leaving deep darkness.

The rain keeps pummelling down for a good hour or so. Until, quite suddenly, it just stops. The celestial tap is turned to off. It seems that the rain has pushed down the extreme heat and humidity into the ground. They will return soon enough, as the flash floods evaporate back into the air. But for now we enjoy the lovely relative cool of the fresh post-rain air, along with the many aromas that the water seems to draw out of all the plants and fruit trees.

—

It sparked a few thoughts...

It really was quite something! And, strange as it may sound, it honestly made me fear God more. If you read the Bible at all you’ll know that whilst the one who loves and trusts Jesus can call God “Father”, with delightful joy and confidence, yet we are still rightly to fear him. He is very, very mighty. He is perfectly pure and holy. He will judge the whole world. He will not be mocked. We are to live in obedient remembrance that he is Lord over all, even if we can’t see him, are pathetically forgetful, and would often go our own way.

“Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world revere him.” (Psalm 33:8) 

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” (Proverbs 1:8)

“Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.” (Proverbs 3:7)

“Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing.” (Psalm 34:9)

It’s a consistent theme of Scripture. When we rightly fear the One who makes us, loves us and saves us, we are free to live before him and enjoy his ways, free from all other fears.

Now I know that thunder isn’t God. But he made it. He MADE it! And he controls it. So how much more powerful and awesome is HE than that which He made and controls?! And that thunder that I heard was probably the most strikingly powerful and awesome thing I’ve ever experienced.

“… what may be known about God is plain to [people], because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” (Romans 1:19-20)

Was this not a remarkable display of God’s eternal power? A dazzling and terrifying electrical weather system that he created. It warrants a word that I feel is terribly overused, but absolutely justified here - AWESOME!

It makes me think that a lot of the Bible writers must have heard similarly dramatic thunder. Hence their fondness of comparing God’s voice to thunder - astonishingly powerful and mighty. For example,

“God’s voice thunders in marvellous ways” (Job 37:4)

“The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.” (Psalm 18:13)

Do we realise that every time we read the Bible, or hear someone preaching it, it should be like we are hearing thunder? Oh that I would be more reverent and humble and obedient before God’s mighty word.

I will certainly now sing a favourite hymn with fresh appreciation when it comes to these words…

O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder

Consider all the works Thy hand hath made.

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed -

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee,

How great Thou art! How great Thou art! 

Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee,

How great Thou art! How great Thou art! 

(Stuart K. Hine, 1949)

And here’s a final rather exciting thought. Through faith in Jesus, we can look forward to perfect bliss with him in glory for ever after this life. And there we will enjoy such fullness of salvation and glory as we enjoy and worship Jesus for ever - see how the last book of the Bible describes what our victory song will be like!

“Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: ‘Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns.’” (Revelation 19:6)

Back to Abnormal

I’ve never before experienced such an unmistakable connection between the weather and my energy levels.

I’ve returned to the Gambia (West Africa), after 2 lovely months back in the UK, and I’ve arrived at the harshest time of year, in terms of weather. We’re in the thirties every day (unless a thunderstorm has just occurred, when it becomes a bit cooler for a few hours), with humidity rarely below 70%. It’s just incredibly sapping. The rain seems to come every couple of days or so, in extraordinarily heavy and dramatic fashion. The thunderstorms are truly astonishing - never witnessed anything like them! (Last year, when I arrived, it was in mid-October, so most of the rains had been and gone.)

The contrast is phenomenal between the pressing, draining heat, when I just feel like I can do precious more than sit and sweat, and when the temperature momentarily drops for a bit - all of a sudden, I can actually think and speak and do!

I trust that I’ll adjust and get going again gradually. The first couple of days were bound to be a particular shock, after the cool of the North European British Isles, combined with the physical and emotional tire of leaving and travelling. And everyone here accepts that September-October is the hardest. Expectations are lower. Lots of Gambians apparently just stay in their houses when the heat is at its worst - like reverse hibernating!

Many people back home were asking about a certain friend, and keen to hear how he’s been getting on…

Canine reunion

I’ve got a four-legged companion who understands the heat struggle, and sympathises very much. It’s even harder for him - he’s got a fur coat on the whole time! Rufus, my now 8-month old German Shepherd, growing at a rate that alarms every visitor!

It was sad leaving him (in good hands) 2 months ago. I’d seen how sorrowful he was when the Gap Team who stayed with us for 4 months left. There was that poignant and strange morning when those 4 fun people who’d played with him, walked him and grown to love him, packed up their big bags and piled them up in the living room. Rufus - normally a bundle of puppyish energy - just quietly snuck in and sat amongst the bags, trying to figure out what was going on. Once they’d gone, he clearly really missed their fun, love and company.

So it was gutting to walk away from him, not able to explain that I’d miss him and that I’d be coming back! People assured me that a dog would never forget his owner. But, as much as I couldn’t wait to see him, I couldn’t help but be a bit anxious about our reunion - would he really remember me? Would he like me?? How would his 2 months of purely African input have changed him? (We treat animals rather differently!)

He was overjoyed! I got to the house from the airport at about 5am, and wondered if he’d bark as he always did when he heard the gate… No barking. Just one extremely excited dog on the either side, and much bigger than when I’d last seen him! He ran round and round me, tail wagging frantically, jumping up, deliriously licking and panting and sniffing and snuffling. As I tried to move in towards the house he wouldn’t cease - forcing me either to constantly trip over him or just stop and enjoy it!

I was shattered. It was very hot and sticky, and it had been a fairly sleepless overnight journey (with a 5-hour layover at Casablanca). So I went straight to bed. And Ruf loyally came and lay on the floor next to the bed.

Most of that day I stayed asleep in bed. And Mama reports that Ruf stayed next to me the whole time! She quietly encouraged him to leave me so that he could eat his meals, but he wouldn’t. Apparently he licked my toes to see if I’d come with him; I wouldn’t (fast asleep); so he faithfully stayed. Very sweet.

—

So I’m back. When I’ve found a morsel of energy, I’ve run some errands, even got away with a bit of basic DIY to fix up a couple of small things in the house, and I’ve seen a few key people. Lots more reconnecting to do, before getting down to the business of planning, preparing and teaching God’s word, which is what I’m here to do.

The place looks very different - after a month or so of very heavy rain, greenery has sprung up everywhere! The season brings some different birds singing different songs. And all the brown/orange dusty and sandy roads are now muddy red instead, with huge puddles to navigate. Green beans in the garden have suddenly shot up, the sugar cane plant has exploded into what looks like it could supply a whole city, and the passion fruit vine has burst into delicious fruitful life!

I can’t help but think of God’s beautiful words through the prophet Isaiah, which are a hugely encouraging reminder as I get going again here with the ministry of God’s word:

“As the rain and snow come down from heaven,

and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I send it.

You will got out in joy and be led forth in peace,

the mountains and hills will burst into song before you,

and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,

and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.

This will be for the Lord’s renown,

for an everlasting sign, which will never be destroyed.”

(Isaiah 55:10-13)

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Questions to Ask a Missionary

England at its finest: Derwent Water, the Lake District

I hope no one is (too!) offended by this post. It’s quite possible that you, dear reader, have asked one or more of these questions…

Returning home for a period after time away (serving and surfing in the Gambia), I fully expect people to ask lots of questions. I also accept that some people won’t so much - they’re just not that interested. That’s fine. But the majority of British people are very British and polite and show their interest by asking questions.

However, some are considerably better questions than others…

The Good

Here are some of the better and more interesting questions:

Q: What have you noticed as different / shocking on returning to the UK?
A: How orderly everyone and everything is; how you can drive for hours and not see any police checkpoints; how upset and divided so many people are by the political situation; how differently people treat their children compared to in the Gambia; how differently Christians tend to think about alcohol compared to the Gambia; how lovely and refreshing the cool weather is; etc etc…

Q: What do you tend to eat in the Gambia?
A: Lots of rice, many and varied fresh fish, chicken (once one of our own), way more nuts and spice than I used to, lots of fresh fruit, sadly no pork (I’ve made up for it since being back here!).

Q: What’s your dog (Rufus) like?
A: Hilarious; much loved (by me, but not strangers!); trained a bit; sometimes obedient; got a big bark; growing quickly; unsure about the sea; terrifies most of the locals (he is partly for security); very soft deep down. Not obese, unlike so many dogs I’ve seen in England!

Q: What have you been most thankful for?
A: God’s faithfulness, constancy, provision, love and perfect friendship; Mama; Pastor Steven; the gospel of Jesus; enjoyable and urgent work to do; the beach; Rufus.

Q: What’s the most dangerous situation you’ve been in?
A: Probably the riot police and tear gas incident…

Q: What can we do better to support you?
A: Thank you!! (It depends who you are…)

Q: Are you looking forward to going back?
A: Yes, very much. It’s been wonderfully refreshing being back in the UK, and that refreshment and encouragement really spur me on to carry on in the Gambia.


So I’m always very happy to talk about my experience so far in the Gambia, the work there, the needs and opportunities and dreams and hopes and all that. And I’m also really happy to talk about more everyday things, which I sometimes forget can be quite interesting too.

The Bad

But it does baffle me how bad and impossible some other questions are! For example…

Q: How’s the Gambia?
A: Er…. still there!?

Q: How’s Africa?
(Oh wow.)

Q: How’s the year been?
A: Well... probably the most eventful, stressful, thrilling, wonderful, complicated, mixed, significant year of my life. Do you want to sit down for hours to counsel me about it?? No - thought as much.


I really don’t want to be too precious or sensitive about things. But maybe this will help you next time you bump into a returning missionary. If they’re anything like me, they’ll appreciate the more unusual and interesting questions. Keep a couple up your sleeve.

The Ugly

These are not for everyone - you don’t all have permission to ask me these! But in this instance, ugly means good. Because occasionally I need the ugly questions to be asked too - as we all do.

I’m so thankful for a few trusted close friends, with whom I meet (/call from the Gambia) regularly to share honestly about our ups and downs, struggles, challenges, joys, sins, hopes, dreams, fears. I need them - and they need me - to keep asking ‘ugly’ questions like:

Q: Where have you messed up?

Q: What have you learned about our Father God from your mistakes and sins?

Q: What have you learned about your heart from those things?

Q: How can we help each other to change, in the light of the gospel of God’s grace, empowered by his Spirit inside us?

Do you have people who have your permission to ask you those kinds of questions in love? I highly recommend it.

So - those good questions: keep ‘em coming.
Those bad questions: I understand… But try to think of better ones!
Those ugly questions: big thanks to my close friends.

I Will Love and I Will Miss

I can’t quite believe that my first of 3 scheduled years in the Gambia is almost up. It’s a strange experience preparing to go back home for 'furlough' / 'home leave' / 'home assignment' / whatever you want to call it. For me it will be a mixture of family time / seeing dear friends / visiting partner churches / seeking refreshment at an excellent-looking conference and convention / enjoying some holiday / checking in with Crosslinks (my sending mission society) / a dentist appointment (largely to follow up on this nightmare...) and other admin...

So I’ll keep pretty busy. And I anticipate it will feel very odd leaving transporting away from the life that I’ve spent a huge amount of energy beginning to get used to here in the Gambia (before returning after 2 months, God willing). As I look forwards, here are things I will love (and won’t love) and will miss (and won’t miss) as I travel:

I will LOVE…

1. Beautiful green England and its rolling hills; 
   
2. Country walks and pub lunches; 
3. Seeing my dear family; 
4. Church and being well fed with good Jesus-exalting Bible teaching; 
5. The privilege of a reliable supply of both electricity and water - wow; 
6. FRIENDS and long summer evenings together; 
7. Jumpers, carpets and duvets; 
8. Strawberries and raspberries; 
9. Sausages; 
10. Jesus being “the same yesterday, and today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). 

I won’t love…

1. British grumpiness; 
2. The materialistic and sexualised West; 
3. The exhaustion of having the same conversations hundreds of times; 
4. The disappointment of some people just not caring that much; 
5. Having to say goodbyes again. 

I will MISS…

1. My dog, Rufus; 
2. Going for a quick surf; 
3. Constant sunshine and warmth; 
4. Stunning sunsets over the sea just a short walk away; 
5. The expectation always to smile and greet people; 
6. Mama (and her cooking!); 
7. The privilege of opening God’s word with my students; 
8. Fresh mangoes, guavas, bananas...; 
9. The friends I’m seeking to get to know; 
10. My faithful co-workers here and my new church family.

I won’t miss…

1. Chasing up never-ending bureaucratic headaches; 
2. The police checkpoint gauntlet every time I drive anywhere; 
3. Miscommunications and misunderstandings due to cultural clashes; 
4. Political and security tension; 
5. Being stared at everywhere; 
6. Oh and the mosquitoes, cockroaches, ants, termites... Though I’ve kind of got used to them!

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:9-10

Good news for the Guilty

I was expecting a number of things to be pretty hard and challenging about moving overseas in service of Christ. One of the things I didn’t anticipate was deeper experiences of guilt. What do I mean?

I suppose guilt is a universal feeling. If you’ve never felt guilty about anything then I’d wager there’s something pretty seriously wrong with you. We all have regrets.

But - in all honesty - before I first really came to terms with what Jesus had done for me, put my trust in him, and began to follow him, any feelings of guilt were pretty shallow and short-lived. Even though there was plenty I was guilty of. It’s sad and shameful but, to be candid, I didn’t really care that much.

Now, though, everything has changed. God is my gracious Father. Jesus is my dear Saviour and Brother. The Holy Spirit is my intimate Comforter. So whilst I know that all my sin, guilt and shame has been dealt with absolutely and once-for-all through Jesus’ sacrifice, now I hate it when I sin - when I mess up in thought / word / deed, which (by the way) is every day. Because I’m grieving my wonderful God. And the feelings of guilt resurface.

I hate it when I sin. But I also hate the memory of sin - those mental replays that can come again and again. There’s no “ctrl + z” in life, is there? We simply can’t undo what is done.

And I wonder if there are a couple of factors in my personal situation that accentuate the painful memory of sin and the feelings of guilt:

1. I am very rarely reminded of the wonder of the gospel - the good news of Jesus, which frees us from all guilt. For the last 10 years of my life really it has been a most precious privilege to be part of a network of Christian friends and colleagues, who were consistent in encouraging each other in who Jesus is for us and what he has done for us. I could bank on turning up to church and singing songs that beautifully express the gospel of Jesus, being reminded of the power of Jesus in the gospel to forgive, cleanse and restore, hearing a clear explanation and celebration of the gospel from Scripture. In many of the churches I visit, and in most of my relationships here, sadly that simply doesn’t happen. (Did I tell you about the sermon supposedly on John 3:16 that didn’t mention Jesus...?) Praise God for a few exceptions, but the overall experience is a serious change. 
2. The Devil loves to discourage servants of the gospel. The whole reason I am in the Gambia is the cause of the gospel: the convictions that everyone needs Jesus, people come to faith in him through hearing his word, and so the importance of training people to understand and proclaim his word truthfully. Oh how Satan hates all of that! And so I’m sure that he loves to do all that he can to discourage those involved in this work, dampening their resolve and stealing their joy. 

The name Satan means Accuser. And his weapon against the Christian believer is a cocktail of true-false accusations. Here’s what I mean:

His accusations are true, in that he doesn’t make them up! He will happily use the material I’ve supplied him with, and point to specific things:

“Remember that time you… [did that to that person] / [said that to that person] / [thought that about that person] …? You really shouldn’t have, should you?” - No, Satan, you’re right.

“Remember that time you… [didn’t do that to that person] / [didn’t say that to that person] …? You really should have, shouldn’t you?” - Yes, Satan, you’re right.

Like a global situation when a country puts its head in its hands, as it sees the arms it’s naively supplied to a now fierce enemy… That’s exactly what we’ve all done with Satan.

And to make it worse, he’ll gladly use things in the present too:

“What are you really achieving? Are you sure it’s really worth it? Are you actually helping anyone? Aren’t you wasting people’s resources? And are you really qualified? Have you forgotten how sinful you are? Your’e not doing a great job, are you?”

But whenever Satan’s accusations may be true, they’re also false - because they’re powerless. They no longer apply. His weapon, though looking sharp and mighty, is actually as harmless as a sword made out of sponge. Because this is the good news…

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has the Lord removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)

All our sin and its accompanying guilt has been taken as far, far away from us as possible. If you look at a globe, how far apart are the east and the west? Infinitely! East is always east and west is always west! Right?! It’s not like north-south (though even that’s a pretty big distance). My sin has been completely removed.

The prophet Micah looked forward to how God would do this:

“You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” (Micah 7:19)

All totally gone. Crushed underfoot, and hurled to the bottom of the deep blue sea, never to be dredged up or seen again. What was Micah looking forward to? How can we be so sure of this?

“For Christ died for sins, once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.” (1 Peter 3:18)

Boom.

Those are some of the sweeter-than-honey words of God that I need to call to mind when Satan accuses. As Martin Luther said, “One word will fell him.” 1 

I love these words from the hymn, ‘Before the Throne of God Above’:

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end of all my sin.

Because the sinless Saviour died

My sinful soul is counted free,

For God the Just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

.

2

There’s a mountain of profound theology and power-loaded good news in those few lines. But the simple, crucial step we need to take when reminded of the guilt we ought to feel? “Upward I look and see Him there who made an end of all my sin.” Jesus Christ is in heaven, seated on his throne, job done. The sinful records of all his people are smothered with the letters, big and red in his priceless blood, PAID IN FULL. Trusting in him? Then he has borne the weight of all your sin and all your guilt. That’s what he was doing when he died that death that he, the Perfect Beautiful Sinless One, never deserved - making an end of all my sin. That’s why I can rejoice, “No guilt in life, no fear in death - this is the power of Christ in me.” 3

Until his certain and final downfall, Satan will continue to do his best to discourage me and all who love the Saviour. But I love how Martin Luther counsels us to deal with it. Here’s what he wrote to encourage someone with this great good news for the guilty:

When the devil throws our sins up to us and declares that we deserve death and hell, we ought to speak thus: ‘I admit that I deserve death and hell. What of it? Does that mean that I shall be sentenced to eternal damnation? By no means. For I know One who suffered and made satisfaction in my behalf. His name is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Where he is, there I shall be also.’ 4

Yes!




1 From the hymn, ‘A Mighty Fortress is our God’, 1529

2 ‘Before the Throne of God Above’, Charitie Bancroft, 1863

3 From the song, ‘In Christ Alone’, Getty / Townend, 2001

4 To Jerome Weller, in ‘Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel’, 1530

A forgotten virtue?

When did you last hear someone commend gentleness? Or command it, for that matter?! (What spellcheck automatically changed ‘commend’ to just now!) The following text got me thinking about gentleness.

I was recently preaching on 2 Timothy 2:20-26, which includes these words from the apostle Paul:

“And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance…” (vv.24-25)

Paul is unequivocal. The Lord’s servant “must” be like this: not quarrelsome, kind to everyone, gentle in instructing opponents. This isn’t just the way some people are - “oh, those lovely nice people.” This isn’t just one of various personality types. We really, seriously, must be gentle - especially, Paul is saying, if we’re in a position of leadership.

Ouch. That’s hard, right?! Yeah.

I’ve been chewing over some reflections which I didn’t have time to include in my sermon. A couple of thoughts…

1. The truly gentle Servant

My very occasionally gentle dog...

It’s interesting that Paul chooses to use the words “the Lord’s servant”. He could easily have just carried on from how he’s normally addressed Timothy in this letter - in the imperative (‘do this not that’) or the 2nd person singular (‘you know this’). But he opts instead for this unusual phrase in the 3rd person - “the Lord’s servant”.

It’s surely reminiscent of an important title from the Old Testament part of the Bible - “the Servant of the Lord”. Isaiah prophesied about him and the climactic work of God’s salvation that he would achieve: not only to restore God’s people, the Jews, but God “will also make [him] a light for the Gentiles, that [he] may bring salvation to the ends of the earth.” (Isaiah 49:6)

Jump forward 700 years to a hated tax-man called Matthew. He became one of the privileged 12 whom Jesus called to follow him closely. As he looked back, in his gospel account, he saw clearly how these prophecies pointed to Jesus, as did the rest of the New Testament writers. Commenting on Jesus’ ministry of kindness and gentleness, Matthew quotes Isaiah:

“This was to fulfil what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah: ‘Here is my servant, whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight. I will put my Spirit on him and he will proclaim justice to the nations. He will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory. In his name the nations will put their hope.’” (Matthew 12:17-21, quoting Isaiah 42:1-4)

Though he comes with all the authority of God and fulfilling the eternal plan of God, yet he comes in quietness and gentleness. Twice, Isaiah emphasises (and Matthew) that the result will nevertheless be victorious as salvation reaches to “the nations”. Yet Jesus’ manner is beautifully tender. Those feeling bruised like a useless reed - he won’t break. Instead he lovingly binds them up. Those feeling pathetic like a smouldering wick - he won’t snuff out. Instead he powerfully revives and restores.

It gets even better.

Stunningly, Jesus’ path to achieve all this (salvation to the ends of the earth!), as well as being surprisingly quiet and gentle, will even be despised and shameful. In one of the most astonishing prophecies of Jesus’ saving sufferings on the Cross, Isaiah wrote:

“... there were many who were appalled at him - his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being and his form marred beyond human likeness… He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.”

Why oh why would this happen to the special promised Servant of the Lord?? “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 52:14-53:6)

This is awesome. And this is classic God. Even his most climactic and wondrous act of salvation - the cross of Christ - would not be all beauty and glory but battered and gory. It’s the most stunning example of gentleness from our Saviour, as he embraced the role of a meek sacrificial lamb, willingly laying down his life as a sacrifice for our sin: “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.” (53:7)

It’s only because of this staggering gentleness in grace that we can be reconciled to God, let alone become in any sense his servants ourselves. But sure enough - wonder of wonders! - that is what God makes available to everyone who believes. We become his dearly beloved children forever, and then we are given the privilege and responsibility of serving him with what he entrusts to us.

And thus the Apostle Paul addressed Timothy, and addresses us. If we have been made servants of the Lord, saved by this beautiful gentle grace, what place is there for quarrelling or unkindness or resentfulness?! Could there be a more inappropriate response?! Instead, let us remember the tender mercy of our Saviour, and imitate him.

“[T]he Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct…” (vv.24-25)

2. The true power for gentleness

How can we possibly do this? See how Paul finishes off his sentence:

“Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.” (vv.25-26)

It’s possible to be gentle. It may seem impossibly hard at times. Especially when opposed unjustly or unkindly, even in the cause of Christ. Yet it is clearly his purpose for us. It’s one of the lovely virtues listed as “the fruit of the Spirit” - “kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness” (Galatians 5:22-23) - what gradually happens when God himself comes to dwell in us and transform us.

And in these words to Timothy we find a weapon: a crucial conviction to cling on to, which will strengthen our hearts and empower our wills to pursue this gentleness. It’s this: God alone is the One with supreme sovereign ability to change hearts. Go on, read that again.

We can not change hearts - our own or others’. Only God can. See the 4 things God is mysteriously and supernaturally able to do in these words:

1. Grant people repentance 
2. Lead people to a knowledge of the truth 
3. Bring people to their senses 
4. Free people from the devil’s grip 

We could never do those things for ourselves. (Ready for humble pie?) We will not repent (turn away from sin and turn to Christ) by ourselves. We will not know the truth by ourselves. We will not come to our senses by ourselves. We will not escape the devil by ourselves. Huh. Humbling.

But - praise be to him! - God can and does do all those things. And so knowing that and clinging to that frees us and enables us to be gentle. 

Often this clear teaching in the Bible about God’s sovereignty is unpopular. It certainly humbles us and puts us in our place. But the Bible writers are never ashamed or shy about such massive truths. On the contrary - they serve as incentives and motivations and empowerments for purposeful, kind and gentle lives.

If God did not have that kind of supreme ability, and I had to try to muster it from myself, then I can’t imagine what kind of psychological wreckage I’d be in. Who could bear the weight of seeking to change hearts?! It’s what everyone needs, but we simply can’t do it!

To know and trust in and cherish God’s sovereign grace will liberate me from such crippling worry, discouragement or bitterness. It will enable me truly to be gentle, even to the hardest cases, and trust God to do his supreme and sovereign work.

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There are a handful of very gentle friends in my life whose example is a constant encouragement and example to me. They are not weak. Not at all. They are very strong. Their strength is in the self-control and self-giving of their abilities, rights, gifts, time and resources for others, in gentle, humble, loving self-sacrifice. That is the way of our Saviour. May it be our way too and so point many to the truly gentle Servant.

“Jesus called them together and said, “… whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:42-45)