The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Questions to Ask a Missionary

England at its finest: Derwent Water, the Lake District

I hope no one is (too!) offended by this post. It’s quite possible that you, dear reader, have asked one or more of these questions…

Returning home for a period after time away (serving and surfing in the Gambia), I fully expect people to ask lots of questions. I also accept that some people won’t so much - they’re just not that interested. That’s fine. But the majority of British people are very British and polite and show their interest by asking questions.

However, some are considerably better questions than others…

The Good

Here are some of the better and more interesting questions:

Q: What have you noticed as different / shocking on returning to the UK?
A: How orderly everyone and everything is; how you can drive for hours and not see any police checkpoints; how upset and divided so many people are by the political situation; how differently people treat their children compared to in the Gambia; how differently Christians tend to think about alcohol compared to the Gambia; how lovely and refreshing the cool weather is; etc etc…

Q: What do you tend to eat in the Gambia?
A: Lots of rice, many and varied fresh fish, chicken (once one of our own), way more nuts and spice than I used to, lots of fresh fruit, sadly no pork (I’ve made up for it since being back here!).

Q: What’s your dog (Rufus) like?
A: Hilarious; much loved (by me, but not strangers!); trained a bit; sometimes obedient; got a big bark; growing quickly; unsure about the sea; terrifies most of the locals (he is partly for security); very soft deep down. Not obese, unlike so many dogs I’ve seen in England!

Q: What have you been most thankful for?
A: God’s faithfulness, constancy, provision, love and perfect friendship; Mama; Pastor Steven; the gospel of Jesus; enjoyable and urgent work to do; the beach; Rufus.

Q: What’s the most dangerous situation you’ve been in?
A: Probably the riot police and tear gas incident…

Q: What can we do better to support you?
A: Thank you!! (It depends who you are…)

Q: Are you looking forward to going back?
A: Yes, very much. It’s been wonderfully refreshing being back in the UK, and that refreshment and encouragement really spur me on to carry on in the Gambia.


So I’m always very happy to talk about my experience so far in the Gambia, the work there, the needs and opportunities and dreams and hopes and all that. And I’m also really happy to talk about more everyday things, which I sometimes forget can be quite interesting too.

The Bad

But it does baffle me how bad and impossible some other questions are! For example…

Q: How’s the Gambia?
A: Er…. still there!?

Q: How’s Africa?
(Oh wow.)

Q: How’s the year been?
A: Well... probably the most eventful, stressful, thrilling, wonderful, complicated, mixed, significant year of my life. Do you want to sit down for hours to counsel me about it?? No - thought as much.


I really don’t want to be too precious or sensitive about things. But maybe this will help you next time you bump into a returning missionary. If they’re anything like me, they’ll appreciate the more unusual and interesting questions. Keep a couple up your sleeve.

The Ugly

These are not for everyone - you don’t all have permission to ask me these! But in this instance, ugly means good. Because occasionally I need the ugly questions to be asked too - as we all do.

I’m so thankful for a few trusted close friends, with whom I meet (/call from the Gambia) regularly to share honestly about our ups and downs, struggles, challenges, joys, sins, hopes, dreams, fears. I need them - and they need me - to keep asking ‘ugly’ questions like:

Q: Where have you messed up?

Q: What have you learned about our Father God from your mistakes and sins?

Q: What have you learned about your heart from those things?

Q: How can we help each other to change, in the light of the gospel of God’s grace, empowered by his Spirit inside us?

Do you have people who have your permission to ask you those kinds of questions in love? I highly recommend it.

So - those good questions: keep ‘em coming.
Those bad questions: I understand… But try to think of better ones!
Those ugly questions: big thanks to my close friends.

I Will Love and I Will Miss

I can’t quite believe that my first of 3 scheduled years in the Gambia is almost up. It’s a strange experience preparing to go back home for 'furlough' / 'home leave' / 'home assignment' / whatever you want to call it. For me it will be a mixture of family time / seeing dear friends / visiting partner churches / seeking refreshment at an excellent-looking conference and convention / enjoying some holiday / checking in with Crosslinks (my sending mission society) / a dentist appointment (largely to follow up on this nightmare...) and other admin...

So I’ll keep pretty busy. And I anticipate it will feel very odd leaving transporting away from the life that I’ve spent a huge amount of energy beginning to get used to here in the Gambia (before returning after 2 months, God willing). As I look forwards, here are things I will love (and won’t love) and will miss (and won’t miss) as I travel:

I will LOVE…

1. Beautiful green England and its rolling hills; 
   
2. Country walks and pub lunches; 
3. Seeing my dear family; 
4. Church and being well fed with good Jesus-exalting Bible teaching; 
5. The privilege of a reliable supply of both electricity and water - wow; 
6. FRIENDS and long summer evenings together; 
7. Jumpers, carpets and duvets; 
8. Strawberries and raspberries; 
9. Sausages; 
10. Jesus being “the same yesterday, and today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). 

I won’t love…

1. British grumpiness; 
2. The materialistic and sexualised West; 
3. The exhaustion of having the same conversations hundreds of times; 
4. The disappointment of some people just not caring that much; 
5. Having to say goodbyes again. 

I will MISS…

1. My dog, Rufus; 
2. Going for a quick surf; 
3. Constant sunshine and warmth; 
4. Stunning sunsets over the sea just a short walk away; 
5. The expectation always to smile and greet people; 
6. Mama (and her cooking!); 
7. The privilege of opening God’s word with my students; 
8. Fresh mangoes, guavas, bananas...; 
9. The friends I’m seeking to get to know; 
10. My faithful co-workers here and my new church family.

I won’t miss…

1. Chasing up never-ending bureaucratic headaches; 
2. The police checkpoint gauntlet every time I drive anywhere; 
3. Miscommunications and misunderstandings due to cultural clashes; 
4. Political and security tension; 
5. Being stared at everywhere; 
6. Oh and the mosquitoes, cockroaches, ants, termites... Though I’ve kind of got used to them!

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139:9-10

Good news for the Guilty

I was expecting a number of things to be pretty hard and challenging about moving overseas in service of Christ. One of the things I didn’t anticipate was deeper experiences of guilt. What do I mean?

I suppose guilt is a universal feeling. If you’ve never felt guilty about anything then I’d wager there’s something pretty seriously wrong with you. We all have regrets.

But - in all honesty - before I first really came to terms with what Jesus had done for me, put my trust in him, and began to follow him, any feelings of guilt were pretty shallow and short-lived. Even though there was plenty I was guilty of. It’s sad and shameful but, to be candid, I didn’t really care that much.

Now, though, everything has changed. God is my gracious Father. Jesus is my dear Saviour and Brother. The Holy Spirit is my intimate Comforter. So whilst I know that all my sin, guilt and shame has been dealt with absolutely and once-for-all through Jesus’ sacrifice, now I hate it when I sin - when I mess up in thought / word / deed, which (by the way) is every day. Because I’m grieving my wonderful God. And the feelings of guilt resurface.

I hate it when I sin. But I also hate the memory of sin - those mental replays that can come again and again. There’s no “ctrl + z” in life, is there? We simply can’t undo what is done.

And I wonder if there are a couple of factors in my personal situation that accentuate the painful memory of sin and the feelings of guilt:

1. I am very rarely reminded of the wonder of the gospel - the good news of Jesus, which frees us from all guilt. For the last 10 years of my life really it has been a most precious privilege to be part of a network of Christian friends and colleagues, who were consistent in encouraging each other in who Jesus is for us and what he has done for us. I could bank on turning up to church and singing songs that beautifully express the gospel of Jesus, being reminded of the power of Jesus in the gospel to forgive, cleanse and restore, hearing a clear explanation and celebration of the gospel from Scripture. In many of the churches I visit, and in most of my relationships here, sadly that simply doesn’t happen. (Did I tell you about the sermon supposedly on John 3:16 that didn’t mention Jesus...?) Praise God for a few exceptions, but the overall experience is a serious change. 
2. The Devil loves to discourage servants of the gospel. The whole reason I am in the Gambia is the cause of the gospel: the convictions that everyone needs Jesus, people come to faith in him through hearing his word, and so the importance of training people to understand and proclaim his word truthfully. Oh how Satan hates all of that! And so I’m sure that he loves to do all that he can to discourage those involved in this work, dampening their resolve and stealing their joy. 

The name Satan means Accuser. And his weapon against the Christian believer is a cocktail of true-false accusations. Here’s what I mean:

His accusations are true, in that he doesn’t make them up! He will happily use the material I’ve supplied him with, and point to specific things:

“Remember that time you… [did that to that person] / [said that to that person] / [thought that about that person] …? You really shouldn’t have, should you?” - No, Satan, you’re right.

“Remember that time you… [didn’t do that to that person] / [didn’t say that to that person] …? You really should have, shouldn’t you?” - Yes, Satan, you’re right.

Like a global situation when a country puts its head in its hands, as it sees the arms it’s naively supplied to a now fierce enemy… That’s exactly what we’ve all done with Satan.

And to make it worse, he’ll gladly use things in the present too:

“What are you really achieving? Are you sure it’s really worth it? Are you actually helping anyone? Aren’t you wasting people’s resources? And are you really qualified? Have you forgotten how sinful you are? Your’e not doing a great job, are you?”

But whenever Satan’s accusations may be true, they’re also false - because they’re powerless. They no longer apply. His weapon, though looking sharp and mighty, is actually as harmless as a sword made out of sponge. Because this is the good news…

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has the Lord removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)

All our sin and its accompanying guilt has been taken as far, far away from us as possible. If you look at a globe, how far apart are the east and the west? Infinitely! East is always east and west is always west! Right?! It’s not like north-south (though even that’s a pretty big distance). My sin has been completely removed.

The prophet Micah looked forward to how God would do this:

“You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl our iniquities into the depths of the sea.” (Micah 7:19)

All totally gone. Crushed underfoot, and hurled to the bottom of the deep blue sea, never to be dredged up or seen again. What was Micah looking forward to? How can we be so sure of this?

“For Christ died for sins, once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.” (1 Peter 3:18)

Boom.

Those are some of the sweeter-than-honey words of God that I need to call to mind when Satan accuses. As Martin Luther said, “One word will fell him.” 1 

I love these words from the hymn, ‘Before the Throne of God Above’:

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end of all my sin.

Because the sinless Saviour died

My sinful soul is counted free,

For God the Just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

.

2

There’s a mountain of profound theology and power-loaded good news in those few lines. But the simple, crucial step we need to take when reminded of the guilt we ought to feel? “Upward I look and see Him there who made an end of all my sin.” Jesus Christ is in heaven, seated on his throne, job done. The sinful records of all his people are smothered with the letters, big and red in his priceless blood, PAID IN FULL. Trusting in him? Then he has borne the weight of all your sin and all your guilt. That’s what he was doing when he died that death that he, the Perfect Beautiful Sinless One, never deserved - making an end of all my sin. That’s why I can rejoice, “No guilt in life, no fear in death - this is the power of Christ in me.” 3

Until his certain and final downfall, Satan will continue to do his best to discourage me and all who love the Saviour. But I love how Martin Luther counsels us to deal with it. Here’s what he wrote to encourage someone with this great good news for the guilty:

When the devil throws our sins up to us and declares that we deserve death and hell, we ought to speak thus: ‘I admit that I deserve death and hell. What of it? Does that mean that I shall be sentenced to eternal damnation? By no means. For I know One who suffered and made satisfaction in my behalf. His name is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Where he is, there I shall be also.’ 4

Yes!




1 From the hymn, ‘A Mighty Fortress is our God’, 1529

2 ‘Before the Throne of God Above’, Charitie Bancroft, 1863

3 From the song, ‘In Christ Alone’, Getty / Townend, 2001

4 To Jerome Weller, in ‘Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel’, 1530